"The Golden Rule"

As my uncle mocks me (not my good uncle, he's dead unfortunately, but I sure wish he wasn't).

Let me quote:

I got this jacket. My jacket of many colors. It makes me feel safe.

"Go find a job."

I have a job. 

I sell books. I have for about a decade.

I used to work a second job at Fred Meyer's.* 

Before that, I worked at Amazon. Before that, Dairy Queen. Before that...

Anyway, I've been working since I got pulled out of Revenge of the Sith in fifth grade. 

This insult is bullshit.

It's just mocking and dehumanizing, in my eyes.

I could turn on the right-wing radio.  

I find it wrong.But I think I got some tits. I think they're decent.

But every time I report—my fault.

And I'm back on the porch. "If you ever..."

And mom gets away. Again.

I find out this awful secret—she was right.

"Time to wreck your shit" is generally myanswer.

"You. Me. Let's rock and roll."

I got you now, dirbag.

Bu that doesn't matter.

Then you get the cops at your door for reporting. 

Your face is swollen because you, uh, didn't fight back, but he said something like, "Stop resisting?" and you go pissed off and said, "I'm not even flexing, how am I resisting?"

Your head is jammed into that wall real hard. It hurts.

And you deserve it.

And you go right back to them pics burning

You'll be in more trouble for reporting than he is for committing the crime.

"a 30-year educator and principal of [removed]"

I wanted to be a teacher. I wanted to stop other students from enduring what I did.

Never happened, I didn't have the money and I double-majored in the wrong fields: English list and history. You're supposed to major in education, but I didn't want to be like my bad teachers, I wanted to be able to understand instead of relying on "cheat sheets."

30-years. 

And he can mock me for reportng abuse. Is that any different from enabling it—from being responsible?

I would report, I'd have 911 on that phone immediately. And not to protect the abuser.

I remember Don's class.

About how educators are taught to see the signs of abuse. 

And I think: he was taught this, so was she. But it's my fault.

But no.

It started when I was eight.

31-year-old me might be a dirtbag and can accept that while trying to improve.

Child me did not. I want to report right now. Both my family and Officer "Eat a bag of dicks ou of my ass," but I ge in trouble for hat. 

Back porch. Second grade. It's my fault, shut up, or else.

Those police come and take you away.

She was right. That seems wrong. 



Protect Kid Diddler Ken.

—

*Freddy's—the store is so well-run. That is sarcasm. My former store manager "isn't interested in feedback," but I distinctly remember the day he called me back and forth between refilling cereal and milk (everyone else had called out), and when I got frustrated and said something like, "Maybe he could come lend a hand instead of complaining," he asked me where the half and half went. As he stood in front of the slot.

I walked in to my ex-girlfriend, a tiny woman cornered in a small room with Bill (Bilo, like Borat's brother, is what we called him), two members of LP, and a second manager.

I was kicked out, but I was the backup when she called the union.

Union didn't do their job, I showed up, then I got kicked out. Again.

They're not interested in feedback.

The manager who finally got me canned—I recorded it all. Because the store has signs everywhere telling you you're being recorded. So when I knew he was pulling some bullshit, I hit Voice Memos. So I have the audio of him changing stories, ignoring a water leak that may have led to complications in the frozen aisle—and I have the audio of how "threatening" I was when I said, "Hey, how ya doin'?"

Union told me that it was troublesome I felt the need to do that.

I don't get that: why do people get to gaslight me? Why when I provide evidence of the gaslighing is it a problem?

When people treat you this way, no one will believe you unless you provide evidence. So you do.

But acquiring the evidence is worse than the crime?

I don't know.

Then I got fired.

Could've been like Marky, I guess, and been worried when someone walked in on me making out with the department sub-manager who, last I heard, mysteriously got pregnant.

The union told me he's been a problem a long time.

But he only fails upward.

Why?

—

Now, I do want to mention Officer Eat My Asshole: I've found through the years of true crime and history, bodycams seem to just stop working. Right around when they would provide required evidence of the crime.

Doesn't that seem... odd? 

Little convenient?

Maybe, I dunno: officers don't get to turn off those cameras of their own volition. It's always recorded.

I'm reflecting more.

And I remember dad's rules for raises. you get a dollar raise for five days in a row earning $500. (But every time, it goes up $100—this means you get a raise for five days in a row of $500, then a raise for $600).

That's a big raise.

But weekends, rainy days, days he decides to quit early: those don't count.

Well, they do. 

In the sense your counter resets.

If it's Friday, you just finished a job, and pops wants to get to the lake house early: too bad. Friday didn't make the required amount, and weekends don't count..,,